To love their husbands and children...

Titus 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Yesterday Wes and I had the privilege of being interviewed by a church friend for a project she is working on to create a parenting course for our community called Intentional Parenting. We were honored to be asked to be interviewed. She told us she sees good things in our kids and family and wanted to learn more about our parenting. What a blessing! We were very humbled and excited for the opportunity. It was so fun to reflect on our past 28 years of marriage and parenting and also be asked thoughtful questions. I couldn't help but have tears in my eyes as I thought of all the ways we have relied on God over and over through trials and triumphs and how many times God showed up in our lives. I'm so grateful and more in love with Wes and my sweet family than ever before. I also realized that I wanted to recommit to being a more "intentional parent" and started my quiet time this morning asking God to show me what that should look like. 

What he showed me is that even though he has given me a lot more time now than I have ever had before since I was laid off from Inspire last Fall, I have not been using the extra time wisely. I have instead been unwise with my time wasting it with unproductive/unintentional things and I realized we are also in a rut with our daily activities. Do you know what I mean? Can you relate? For example, we just do the same thing day in and day out. I have so enjoyed being home more and spending more time with my family, but we have kind of become like robots and I feel like we need to be more intentional with how we spend our time. I long to be more focused on teaching, training, and taking advantage of teachable moments to teach Biblical truths to my family.

 

Here are some of the positive routines that are going well, but could be deepened: 

• Daily Quiet time with the Lord - family share about what the Lord is showing us
• Finishing school subjects daily - add in read aloud time together
• Meal times together - add in devo time and share time

Some things I want to add to get out of our rut: 

• Weekly dates with each child and grandchild 
• Weekly FaceTime with grandparents and children/grandchild who lives out of town
• Add in "Life Skills" (see below) training time with each child/children
• Add in Character lessons with children - do this during devo and read aloud time
• Family walks after dinner or pool time. 
• Family game night and outdoor movie night

Life Skills Projects to do with kids:

• Cooking new healthy meals together - breakfast, lunch, and dinner
• Remodel of children's play house in backyard
• Finish barn loft to create extra sleeping area/Recreation Room
• Build backyard garden area and plant flowers/grass
• Build backyard deck 
• Paint kitchen and laundry cabinets

I've prayed for a long time that God would give my husband and I a ministry to do together thinking we could do mission trips or have a family ministry..But, you know what? The Lord told me this morning "Look around you...I've already given you a ministry! Your family!" I was so humbled. Of course I knew this, but this is exactly what He wants me to focus on now in this season! I was thinking bigger and something outside of our family unit, but in this season the ministry God wants us to focus and build into is right in front of us. I've realized in this season that I'm in where God has me being STILL a lot that I've so often taken my family for granted. I've put off pouring into our children's lives and replaced that time I could have been spending teaching and training with work priorities, phone calls, email, the Internet, social media, or whatever. Those things are not bad (although sometimes they can be if they take all your time), they are usually just neutral. But, God is teaching me over and over that the TIME we have on this earth is soooo short and goes so quickly. I have to be diligent to be directed by God and realize the blessings he has given me and what is right in front of me. I have to ask him daily what he wants me to do with my time. 

Besides loving my children and recommitting my time to my family, the Lord is teaching me something else from Titus 2:3-5...to love my husband and what exactly that looks like. I will share next time what I'm learning. 

TODAY's CHALLENGE: I want to challenge you to write down some ways you can show love to your children today, this week, month, etc. Make a list of what is working and another list of what you want to add to show love. Pray over your children and ask the Lord to show you exactly what is needed for each of them. Summer is the perfect time to start some new habits. Take it one step further and ask a friend to keep you accountable to your list. Will you keep me accountable? Let's check in periodically to see how it's going. Feel free to comment below what you want to add. 

Above Rubies Retreat 2011

I was so blessed to be able to attend the Above Rubies Retreat a week ago in Zephyr Cove, Lake Tahoe! My wonderful hubby more than encouraged me to go and I also was doubly blessed to go with my new very dear friend, Laura! Laura is from Santa Cruz originally and we never met when we were both living there. However, we both have 7 children and embrace the Lord's blessings with open arms. We have all the same friends from Santa Cruz, but never crossed paths in the 10+ years we lived their at the same time! Anyway, we had such a great time together listening to Nancy's message on motherhood and our roles as godly wives.


Nancy spoke about "The Overflowing Land" - in other words our homes are to be overflowing. 


First, God made our homes to be "A Good Land" (Numbers 14:7) that is to be overflowing with hospitality to others and healthy foods and meals. 


Second, our homes are to be "A Delightful Land" (Psalm 106:24-25) that brings God glory. Nancy says "Motherhood is the glory of the nation!" But, many mothers do not have that revelation of motherhood being glorious. Instead they despise their land only wanting their children to grow up quick or even to go to work to escape "their land" instead of delighting in it each new day. They are like the Israelites, despising their land that God brought them in to. 


Third, our homes are "A large Land" (Exodus 3:8). Do you realize that when couples say no to just one child because they feel they are too tired, it would be inconvenient, too expensive, or whatever other excuse they have that is self driven, they are actually effecting thousands, even millions of people for God? One child can be a future dynasty for God! I couldn't imagine if we had said no after having just three children, we wouldn't have Jonathan, Sophie, Joshua, or Eliana! 


Satan wants to minimize Israel and in the same way he wants to minimize godly families that can be Nation Changers - World Changers! He wants to minimize our land and when godly Christians use excuses to stop God's blessings upon their lives they are giving in to Satan and selfishness. There are so many verses in the Bible about children being a blessing and a gift from God. God commanded Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply" and that command hasn't gone away. God's desire is to have more children in Heaven with Him! How can that be if Christians continue to say no to God's blessings for children? How can anyone refuse God and especially take part in "birth control" contraceptives when they are so clearly not from Him? Many contraceptives are actually abortificants and many babies have died through naive use of the Pill and other types of contraceptives and even Christians that are pro-Life have no idea that this happens! It breaks my heart! Read about it here.


Fourth, our land is to be "A Flowing Land." Twenty times in the Bible it talks about the land being flowing with milk and honey. Are you "flowing" in your land or are you doing your motherhood or fatherhood role "out of duty?" Are you being creative and joyful with your children each day? Are you abounding in the work of the Lord? Are you reaching out to the needy, loving your children, and loving your husband or wife? We have to constantly remind ourselves to ABOUND in order to have our land be flowing with God's love and fruitfulness! 


We must strive to have a land flowing with milk. What does it mean to flow with milk? Milk in the Bible represents nourishing and nurturing. Are you nourishing and nurturing your children? Do you plan and prepare nourishing meals for your family? Do you take the time to think about what God would want you to feed your family? Or do you just quickly grab a meal full of preservatives and junk for their bodies because you are too busy running around from here to there and not being purposeful in your day? 


I have to admit, I am guilty of this. I need to spend more time planning and preparing nourishing meals and am making a commitment to ask God to help me with this. It takes self-discipline to plan and also say "no" to things that have become a habit in your diet and that are unhealthy. God will bless your efforts! 


God wants us to nourish and nurture our families. Are you nurturing your family? Are you comforting your children and taking the time to just be quiet and let them talk? Or are you running around commanding them and telling them what to do and what not to do all day because of your business? Stop and smell the roses with them or watch a sunset. Take time to just sit and be still and enjoy them. Read to them, play games with them, or relax with them. There is always time to do one more thing or go one more place, but we must stop and just "be" with our family to bond and make memories. Along this same subject of nurturing is lovingly managing our homes. There is something within us that wants to manage our homes each day. Do you manage well or in a "crazy state?" Are you calm? Do you bring peace and harmony to your daily activities? Or do you cause chaos with your words and attitude? The mother creates the atmosphere in her home. Do you use "sweet words" in your home management? We must manage the home with both gentleness and efficiency and seek the Lord to find out what that looks like for our family. 


Fifth, our land is a "Dependent Land." Deuteronomy 11 talks about how Israel had to completely depend on God for water and God supplied it for them. In the same way, we need to completely depend on God in our homes. We need to go to God for wisdom, help, and understanding and completely depend on him for taking care of our children, home, and husband EVERY day. When we choose not to pray for God's help and wisdom, it is only showing that we think we can accomplish what WE want by ourself and that we don't need God. We need to have a continual conversation going on with God throughout each day asking for help and wisdom in every decision. 


Sixth, our land is a "Fruitful Land." When the Israelites were captive in Babylon God told them what to do...we can follow that same commands today. This is what God said: 
1. Build houses and dwell in them.
2. Plant gardens and eat.
3. Take wives and have children. 
4. Have grandchildren.
5. Increase (do not be diminished)
6. Seek peace, pray for the city 
7. Don't be deceived! 


Isn't it so simple? God's ways are so simple and yet we still choose not to follow them. We cannot pick and choose what verses or commands from the Bible we want to choose and not follow all of them based on what we think or want. For example, we cannot say well, I will follow #1 because I do want a house and #2 because I agree it's good to have a garden and eat organic. And, #3, yes I'll get married, but I'm not ready to have children yet, so I'll wait on that. #4, grandchildren, sure that will come later. But, #5, no I don't want to increase yet, that must not apply to my situation today since God wanted the Israelites to increase back then, but surely that doesn't apply today...and so on. It is a sin to pick and choose only part of what God wants. We are not being humble if we decide what God wants by only following some of his Word an not all! We need to follow the Word 100% even if it is scary. But, it is only scary if we aren't truly putting our complete faith in Him. He IS in control! 


Finally, our land is a "Life Giving Land." God is a God of LIFE. We have to be pro-life in everything we do. We must strive to eat life-giving foods, not dead junky foods, and feed ourselves and our families well. We must strive to have life-giving attitudes towards our children and family and speak life giving words into them by blessing them and telling them what a blessing they are to our family and to the world! We must strive to think life-giving thoughts, not destructive thoughts that will only break and tear down ourselves and our families, taking every thought captive. And, finally we should be open to Life from God. He is the life giver and He has the power to open and close the woman's womb. He is in control of that and we should never pretend that we should be in control of life! 

Here's Nancy, Eliana, and I on our last day at the retreat! 

Being Slow to Speak

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 
James 1:19-20

I have recently been gently reminded that I need to apply this verse to my life (once again). This is an area that I constantly have to be reminded about especially in the area of my marriage. Why is it so hard for me to keep quiet? Why do I struggle with wanting my way and voicing my opinion? Why can't I just be happy with what my husband wants and not always try to second guess his opinion or desires? 


I have been trying to rest a lot this weekend to get rid of a bad cough. My oldest is also resting as she has the same cough. She started a tradition years ago of watching Little House on the Prairie episodes when she is sick. So we have been enjoying a marathon of LHotP seasons 1-4 this weekend while Daddy has the little ones out hiking. I just love the lessons in this series and am always convicted of how I could be a better wife and mother as I watch Carolyn Ingalls interact with her husband and children. She was quiet! She knew when to speak and when not to and she always allowed her husband to lead even when she thought he was making the wrong decision. 


One episode we watched today showed Charles wanting to sell the farm after a tornado wiped out all their crops. He decided to give up on farming and move back to his hometown of Wisconsin. He was hours away from selling it to the new buyers and visually struggling because he didn't really want to move. Then realized something and turned to Carolyn and said "I never even asked you what you wanted!" She began crying and saying it was okay and that he was going through a lot. He then apologized and said "WE were going through a lot" and in the end they ended up staying in Walnut Grove through another series of events. But, the point was she never said anything. She submitted to him even though she was dying inside to tell him she didn't want to move because she didn't want to leave Walnut Grove. She supported her husband even though inside she thought he wasn't making the right decision. As I watched I realized I not only don't do this in the big things I don't do this in the little things as well. I complain, I argue, I voice my opinion WAY TOO MUCH and WAY TOO OFTEN!!! Because of my sinful nature and desire to say what I think is right it oftentimes causes friction and stress in the family. It doesn't matter if I am right, my job is to be a helpmeet to my husband. I am not to be in charge of our family, my husband is the one in charge. Thankfully I'm married to a man that asks me my opinions. But, I know he does not appreciate me telling him what I think when he doesn't ask and this is where I need to change and learn to be quiet and listen. I need to "go with the flow" and not worry about him making mistakes. I need to stop trying to control every situation with our family and with the children. They are his children too and he has a right to decide things without his wife second guessing him. This is soooo hard for me. Thank you Lord for reminding me that I need to work on this area of my life. 


A few years ago I read Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. It is such a great book on the teaching of biblical submission and I learned so much. I am so excited because I am going to start a small group reading this book starting this week. I'll be writing about what the Lord puts on my heart to share and pray that he helps me to be slow to speak and quick to listen more and more each day!!! I'll let you know how I'm doing :)