Being Slow to Speak

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 
James 1:19-20

I have recently been gently reminded that I need to apply this verse to my life (once again). This is an area that I constantly have to be reminded about especially in the area of my marriage. Why is it so hard for me to keep quiet? Why do I struggle with wanting my way and voicing my opinion? Why can't I just be happy with what my husband wants and not always try to second guess his opinion or desires? 


I have been trying to rest a lot this weekend to get rid of a bad cough. My oldest is also resting as she has the same cough. She started a tradition years ago of watching Little House on the Prairie episodes when she is sick. So we have been enjoying a marathon of LHotP seasons 1-4 this weekend while Daddy has the little ones out hiking. I just love the lessons in this series and am always convicted of how I could be a better wife and mother as I watch Carolyn Ingalls interact with her husband and children. She was quiet! She knew when to speak and when not to and she always allowed her husband to lead even when she thought he was making the wrong decision. 


One episode we watched today showed Charles wanting to sell the farm after a tornado wiped out all their crops. He decided to give up on farming and move back to his hometown of Wisconsin. He was hours away from selling it to the new buyers and visually struggling because he didn't really want to move. Then realized something and turned to Carolyn and said "I never even asked you what you wanted!" She began crying and saying it was okay and that he was going through a lot. He then apologized and said "WE were going through a lot" and in the end they ended up staying in Walnut Grove through another series of events. But, the point was she never said anything. She submitted to him even though she was dying inside to tell him she didn't want to move because she didn't want to leave Walnut Grove. She supported her husband even though inside she thought he wasn't making the right decision. As I watched I realized I not only don't do this in the big things I don't do this in the little things as well. I complain, I argue, I voice my opinion WAY TOO MUCH and WAY TOO OFTEN!!! Because of my sinful nature and desire to say what I think is right it oftentimes causes friction and stress in the family. It doesn't matter if I am right, my job is to be a helpmeet to my husband. I am not to be in charge of our family, my husband is the one in charge. Thankfully I'm married to a man that asks me my opinions. But, I know he does not appreciate me telling him what I think when he doesn't ask and this is where I need to change and learn to be quiet and listen. I need to "go with the flow" and not worry about him making mistakes. I need to stop trying to control every situation with our family and with the children. They are his children too and he has a right to decide things without his wife second guessing him. This is soooo hard for me. Thank you Lord for reminding me that I need to work on this area of my life. 


A few years ago I read Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. It is such a great book on the teaching of biblical submission and I learned so much. I am so excited because I am going to start a small group reading this book starting this week. I'll be writing about what the Lord puts on my heart to share and pray that he helps me to be slow to speak and quick to listen more and more each day!!! I'll let you know how I'm doing :)