My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
James 1:19-20
I have recently been gently reminded that I need to apply this verse to my life (once again). This is an area that I constantly have to be reminded about especially in the area of my marriage. Why is it so hard for me to keep quiet? Why do I struggle with wanting my way and voicing my opinion? Why can't I just be happy with what my husband wants and not always try to second guess his opinion or desires?
I have been trying to rest a lot this weekend to get rid of a bad cough. My oldest is also resting as she has the same cough. She started a tradition years ago of watching Little House on the Prairie episodes when she is sick. So we have been enjoying a marathon of LHotP seasons 1-4 this weekend while Daddy has the little ones out hiking. I just love the lessons in this series and am always convicted of how I could be a better wife and mother as I watch Carolyn Ingalls interact with her husband and children. She was quiet! She knew when to speak and when not to and she always allowed her husband to lead even when she thought he was making the wrong decision.
One episode we watched today showed Charles wanting to sell the farm after a tornado wiped out all their crops. He decided to give up on farming and move back to his hometown of Wisconsin. He was hours away from selling it to the new buyers and visually struggling because he didn't really want to move. Then realized something and turned to Carolyn and said "I never even asked you what you wanted!" She began crying and saying it was okay and that he was going through a lot. He then apologized and said "WE were going through a lot" and in the end they ended up staying in Walnut Grove through another series of events. But, the point was she never said anything. She submitted to him even though she was dying inside to tell him she didn't want to move because she didn't want to leave Walnut Grove. She supported her husband even though inside she thought he wasn't making the right decision. As I watched I realized I not only don't do this in the big things I don't do this in the little things as well. I complain, I argue, I voice my opinion WAY TOO MUCH and WAY TOO OFTEN!!! Because of my sinful nature and desire to say what I think is right it oftentimes causes friction and stress in the family. It doesn't matter if I am right, my job is to be a helpmeet to my husband. I am not to be in charge of our family, my husband is the one in charge. Thankfully I'm married to a man that asks me my opinions. But, I know he does not appreciate me telling him what I think when he doesn't ask and this is where I need to change and learn to be quiet and listen. I need to "go with the flow" and not worry about him making mistakes. I need to stop trying to control every situation with our family and with the children. They are his children too and he has a right to decide things without his wife second guessing him. This is soooo hard for me. Thank you Lord for reminding me that I need to work on this area of my life.
A few years ago I read Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. It is such a great book on the teaching of biblical submission and I learned so much. I am so excited because I am going to start a small group reading this book starting this week. I'll be writing about what the Lord puts on my heart to share and pray that he helps me to be slow to speak and quick to listen more and more each day!!! I'll let you know how I'm doing :)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Decluttering/Remodeling a smallish house for our large family
Well, I'm trying really hard to declutter our house. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. We moved into our home over 8 years ago and we had just three little girls 6 and under. They all shared one bedroom and we had two other bedrooms to spare. That gave us one kids room, one office, one guest room, and a master - sweet! Our house is just under 2000 sq. ft. which was perfect for our 5 person family.
Fast forward 8 years and 4 children later...Now we have three kids' rooms with two children in each room, our master is the same except baby Eliana will sleep in there until she is two-ish. Eliana will eventually have to join one of the girls' rooms and so we will have three in one of the children's rooms.
For the past two years (since I was pregnant with Joshua, #6) we have put any changes or adjustments to our house on hold because we were considering moving to a larger home in Sacramento area since the real estate market has gone down so much there. We had green lights to move in every area including my hubby's work, etc., but with the news of my ear surgery and other things, for now we have decided to stay in Santa Cruz. So, we are now trying to make some long overdue changes to our house so it will work more efficiently for a large family.
Kids Room #1: Our oldest two girls have the most stuff and also have the hardest time getting rid of stuff. Their room is very cluttered and packed. We don't have anymore attic space or other storage space so we need to make do. So, my husband is working on building a "platform" about 18 inches high and that covers half of their room. They are going to store their treasures under the platform and put a small couch and table and chairs on the platform. We are working on buying them a bunkbed as well. I am hoping this will solve a lot of their space problems.
Kids Room #2: The second set of girls do a pretty good job of keeping their room organized, but there is 5 years between them so their biggest problem is the age span. Hannah needs a place for her stuff that Sophie won't get into to. Also they need bunks too to maximize the space and we will get a trundle for storage. I think I will look into a locking trunk for Hannah, the 9 year old, for her treasures. Any other ideas?
Kids Room #3: Finally the boys - 2 year old Joshua and 6 year old Jonathan are doing great. They have the same problem as Hannah and Sophie because of the age span so I will have to look into a locking trunk or something else for Jonathan. I also need to get a trundle for their existing bunk. But, boys just don't need as much space and also don't have as many emotional attachments to stuff.
Other problem areas upstairs:
Laundry Room: I need help with this one...any suggestions? It's upstairs and I'm so thankful for this since it's centrally located next to all the kids rooms. But, it's about 5 ft. X 5 ft and I never have enough space to do laundry..wash, dry, fold. There is no sink either. I would love a bigger area to store the folded laundry while it's waiting to be picked up by the kids to put away. I have to do at least 3-4 loads each day to keep up.
Linen Closet: We don't have one. I heard a suggestion to store the extra set of sheets for beds between the matresses. I thought this was one I would try since presently I store them in the kids closets and they really could use that extra space. I keep blankets on the top shelf in our walk-in closet, but they take up so much space I could use for something else. Any other suggestions?
Photo Albums: Where is the best place to put these when we have no shelf space? The kids love to look at them when they are out.
Bathrooms. We have two for all of us and they are both upstairs - none downstairs. The girls basically rule the spare one with the amount of Bath and Body Works lotions and spays that are in there. How can I make our "kids bathroom" more usable for all seven children? I've thought about everyone having a bathroom case with all their necessary items in it like toothbrush, paste, brush, etc., but am not sure. Any suggestions from other larger families? We are planning to put in two sinks and a door between the sink area and the tub/toilet area in order to maximize usage too.
Well that covers upstairs. I'll post again with what we are going to do downstairs later. I'd love to hear what works for other families with some of the same issues.
Fast forward 8 years and 4 children later...Now we have three kids' rooms with two children in each room, our master is the same except baby Eliana will sleep in there until she is two-ish. Eliana will eventually have to join one of the girls' rooms and so we will have three in one of the children's rooms.
For the past two years (since I was pregnant with Joshua, #6) we have put any changes or adjustments to our house on hold because we were considering moving to a larger home in Sacramento area since the real estate market has gone down so much there. We had green lights to move in every area including my hubby's work, etc., but with the news of my ear surgery and other things, for now we have decided to stay in Santa Cruz. So, we are now trying to make some long overdue changes to our house so it will work more efficiently for a large family.
Kids Room #1: Our oldest two girls have the most stuff and also have the hardest time getting rid of stuff. Their room is very cluttered and packed. We don't have anymore attic space or other storage space so we need to make do. So, my husband is working on building a "platform" about 18 inches high and that covers half of their room. They are going to store their treasures under the platform and put a small couch and table and chairs on the platform. We are working on buying them a bunkbed as well. I am hoping this will solve a lot of their space problems.
Kids Room #2: The second set of girls do a pretty good job of keeping their room organized, but there is 5 years between them so their biggest problem is the age span. Hannah needs a place for her stuff that Sophie won't get into to. Also they need bunks too to maximize the space and we will get a trundle for storage. I think I will look into a locking trunk for Hannah, the 9 year old, for her treasures. Any other ideas?
Kids Room #3: Finally the boys - 2 year old Joshua and 6 year old Jonathan are doing great. They have the same problem as Hannah and Sophie because of the age span so I will have to look into a locking trunk or something else for Jonathan. I also need to get a trundle for their existing bunk. But, boys just don't need as much space and also don't have as many emotional attachments to stuff.
Other problem areas upstairs:
Laundry Room: I need help with this one...any suggestions? It's upstairs and I'm so thankful for this since it's centrally located next to all the kids rooms. But, it's about 5 ft. X 5 ft and I never have enough space to do laundry..wash, dry, fold. There is no sink either. I would love a bigger area to store the folded laundry while it's waiting to be picked up by the kids to put away. I have to do at least 3-4 loads each day to keep up.
Linen Closet: We don't have one. I heard a suggestion to store the extra set of sheets for beds between the matresses. I thought this was one I would try since presently I store them in the kids closets and they really could use that extra space. I keep blankets on the top shelf in our walk-in closet, but they take up so much space I could use for something else. Any other suggestions?
Photo Albums: Where is the best place to put these when we have no shelf space? The kids love to look at them when they are out.
Bathrooms. We have two for all of us and they are both upstairs - none downstairs. The girls basically rule the spare one with the amount of Bath and Body Works lotions and spays that are in there. How can I make our "kids bathroom" more usable for all seven children? I've thought about everyone having a bathroom case with all their necessary items in it like toothbrush, paste, brush, etc., but am not sure. Any suggestions from other larger families? We are planning to put in two sinks and a door between the sink area and the tub/toilet area in order to maximize usage too.
Well that covers upstairs. I'll post again with what we are going to do downstairs later. I'd love to hear what works for other families with some of the same issues.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
My oldest girls
I was amazed and so incredibly blessed this morning! While trying really hard to stay on task and encourage the children to do the same, I walked into my older girls' room to wake them up thinking they would still be sleeping. Instead I opened the door to find them reading their Bibles! I was so blessed. I had told them we were going to start to get back into a more strict routine, but they took it upon themselves to add that habit to their personal routine. I was so thankful. I have always encouraged them to read the Bible on a regular basis, but struggled with the fine line of making them do it and having them want to do it on their own. To have them freely choose to read gave me such joy it filled my entire day with gladness.
To top it all off, as I was leaving I noticed a list on my oldest daughter, Emily's, desk. (This is her holding our newest little one, Eliana) It was a list titled something like "The most important things I want in a husband." On the list she had things like "someone who absolutely is against divorce," "a man who loves the Lord," "a man who reads the Bible every day," etc. I can't wait to read her whole list. She says she isn't finished. She told me she got the idea from a book she had asked me to buy her a few months ago. It's from Vision Forum and it's titled Before You Meet Prince Charming It's a wonderful book and it's changing who she is by challenging her to think deeper in her faith. I can't believe the level of maturity I am seeing from her at only 14!
She recently has felt convicted to not wear pants. This is a girl who LOVES her blue jeans and is very fashion conscious. But, she loves the Lord and wants to please him before herself so she has only been wearing skirts and more modest shirts since Christmas. She has also encouraged her sisters to do the same so all of my girls are now wearing more modest clothes and skirts/dresses only with little or no influence from me. It is all the Lord. In fact, they have influenced me and I have been wearing skirts only too. We are all loving being more feminine. I am so thankful for who she is becoming and can't wait to see how the Lord is going to use her! Being a parent is so exciting!
Schedules and Time Management
Boy have I been lazy lately! I have always loved schedules and being orderly, but over the years I have had to learn how to relax a little because I'm married to a very spontaneous man who doesn't wear a watch and who loves living in the moment! However, the Lord is changing him lately and he has been telling me that I need to be stricter with the children and get them back on a better routine and schedule. I guess I have gotten too lax! So...we are adding more structure to our lives. Today was the first day of our new routine and it went really great! I am taking baby steps and praying a lot! Here are some changes we are making...
1. Get up on time. In our house that means by 8:00 am. None of us are morning people and we have gotten into the habit of sleeping in too late.
2. All of us will eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. We will follow the meal plan for the day that I have made in advance. I make a meal plan, but have been lax in enforcing it lately for breakfast and lunch and as a result the older children have been eating what they want which is a lot of times very unhealthy. Also, when we stick to a plan we save money in the long run!
3. We all do our chores together. In our house that means three times a day...Morning Jobs, Day Jobs, and Night Jobs. I have also been slacking in this area with keeping the children and myself accountable, but not anymore :)
4. Mom gets up before the children (7:30) to exercise and then spend some time in the Word. I am currently re-reading The Power of Motherhood by Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies. Love it!
5. Everyone in bed by 9:00 pm. Mom goes to bed by 11:00 or earlier.
6. Last, but not least, be thankful and joyful in all we do. Show the children by my example that I am thankful that I am able to take care of them and our home on a daily basis. More is caught than taught!
If I can stick to these basics our days go so much smoother. Here's a look at our basic schedule by the hour that I'm trying to stick too. We did pretty good today.
7:30 Mom wakes to exercise and spend time with God. Older girls read Bibles in bed.
8:00 Morning Jobs: make bed, shower, get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair, help buddies (older coupled with a younger child), feed pets, and general clean up.
9:00 Eat breakfast together and have Bible time as a family. Clean up kitchen.
10:00 All kids start school. Mom works with non-readers.
11:00 Continue school
12:00 Lunch and clean up
1:00 Continue school for older children. Quiet time for younger children.
2:00 Monday: Baking Day
Tuesday: Gymnastics for older four children while Mom runs errands
Wednesday: Library Day and other errands
Thursday: Music Day: Practice praise and worship songs
Friday: Sewing and Arts/Crafts Day
3:00 Snack and outside play time or continue errands/above classes
4:00 Day Jobs: Clean up province (area of house that each child is assigned to clean up), put away personal items, clean up room, put away laundry, help buddy
5:00 Get ready for dinner. Cooking class and etiquette. Set the table.
6:00 Eat dinner
7:00 Clean up dinner and have Family Bible Time and worship
8:00 Night Jobs: Clean up stuff, baths, jammies on, brush teeth, brush hair, prayers.
9:00 Lights off. Older girls may stay up until 9:30.
Mom does laundry off and on throughout the day.
1. Get up on time. In our house that means by 8:00 am. None of us are morning people and we have gotten into the habit of sleeping in too late.
2. All of us will eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. We will follow the meal plan for the day that I have made in advance. I make a meal plan, but have been lax in enforcing it lately for breakfast and lunch and as a result the older children have been eating what they want which is a lot of times very unhealthy. Also, when we stick to a plan we save money in the long run!
3. We all do our chores together. In our house that means three times a day...Morning Jobs, Day Jobs, and Night Jobs. I have also been slacking in this area with keeping the children and myself accountable, but not anymore :)
4. Mom gets up before the children (7:30) to exercise and then spend some time in the Word. I am currently re-reading The Power of Motherhood by Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies. Love it!
5. Everyone in bed by 9:00 pm. Mom goes to bed by 11:00 or earlier.
6. Last, but not least, be thankful and joyful in all we do. Show the children by my example that I am thankful that I am able to take care of them and our home on a daily basis. More is caught than taught!
If I can stick to these basics our days go so much smoother. Here's a look at our basic schedule by the hour that I'm trying to stick too. We did pretty good today.
7:30 Mom wakes to exercise and spend time with God. Older girls read Bibles in bed.
8:00 Morning Jobs: make bed, shower, get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair, help buddies (older coupled with a younger child), feed pets, and general clean up.
9:00 Eat breakfast together and have Bible time as a family. Clean up kitchen.
10:00 All kids start school. Mom works with non-readers.
11:00 Continue school
12:00 Lunch and clean up
1:00 Continue school for older children. Quiet time for younger children.
2:00 Monday: Baking Day
Tuesday: Gymnastics for older four children while Mom runs errands
Wednesday: Library Day and other errands
Thursday: Music Day: Practice praise and worship songs
Friday: Sewing and Arts/Crafts Day
3:00 Snack and outside play time or continue errands/above classes
4:00 Day Jobs: Clean up province (area of house that each child is assigned to clean up), put away personal items, clean up room, put away laundry, help buddy
5:00 Get ready for dinner. Cooking class and etiquette. Set the table.
6:00 Eat dinner
7:00 Clean up dinner and have Family Bible Time and worship
8:00 Night Jobs: Clean up stuff, baths, jammies on, brush teeth, brush hair, prayers.
9:00 Lights off. Older girls may stay up until 9:30.
Mom does laundry off and on throughout the day.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Happiest Place On Earth
I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while…The reason is that we spent last week at “The Happiest Place on Earth.” We had a wonderful time making lots of memories that we will remember for a long time. We were even blessed to have my parents join us for half of the trip and we also celebrated my second daughter Sarah’s 12th birthday. What a special way to celebrate! We enjoyed great weather and no ride lines longer than 5 minutes on most of the days. Late winter is a great time to go. Our little ones were the most fun to watch as their eyes lit up when Mickey appeared or Cinderella took Sophie’s little four-year-old hand to dance like a princess. There is nothing like going to Disneyland with a two and four year old, it truly brings you back to the younger years of life.
I am thankful we live so close to Disneyland that we have made it a family tradition to take our vacations there quite often and we even have annual passes thanks to grandma’s and grandpa’s Christmas gifts. The memories we’ve made will last a lifetime. However, after spending a week in such a magical place I can’t help but ask myself “is my home the happiest place on earth?”
I know it may sound silly because obviously you can’t live a fantasy life like you do while you are at Disneyland, but it really is my hearts desire to make memories of a lifetime with my children while they are in my home. I love my family so much and know so well how short our lives are and I want to make every moment matter (ha!). Yet, I find this so hard to do in the daily grind. Do you struggle with this too? I struggle with the Martha verses Mary lifestyle choices each day. I find as a mom it’s so important to try to balance that diligent, hard-working Proverbs 31 woman with the live in the moment, obedient, Holy Spirit led personality we see displayed through Mary. I know you know what I mean.
I find two things essential to making it work for our home:
1. Spending time with the Lord on a daily basis
2. Having a plan for the day, but being open to God changing your plan.
Without these two essential steps, my days go by the wayside and I live my life being reactive instead of proactive. I want to be more proactive so that I can be prepared for each moment and for the Lord’s direction. It’s easier said than done. But that is my goal and what I purpose to do. I have failed many times (including today!), but the Lord is gracious and I can start each new day fresh.
Thank you Lord for each new morning. I give each and every new day to you. Lead us in our actions and thoughts with one another and direct our paths. Help us to plan our days, but be open to your Holy Spirit’s leading at same time. Give us your wisdom to be diligent with the precious time you have given us on this earth and help us to further your kingdom.
In your Son’s name, Amen.
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